November 30, 2008


Many of you may wonder how and why this subject has struck enough interest in me to start a blog. I mentioned before that this interest is a gift. I believe that. There are so few people out there with respectful knowledge about this topic- especially women- especially, especially LDS women. Where does one turn to learn and grow in knowledge? What if there are days of frustration and stress because of this subject? What if your marriage is suffering or it's causing hidden emotions, or you dislike intimacy all together? What if your situation is good but not GREAT? Where do you seek help? Is it ok to learn more? My interest is for everyone.

I grew up in a very unique home. Let me explain. In our home growing up, no subject was off limits, no questions were inappropriate, and no one was really given "the talk" at a certain age. As long as there was respect...any moment was ok to share. We are a very open family and there was definite safety in asking my mom or dad anything that crossed my mind. I knew that if I heard something or wondered about something, I could simply ask and they would direct me to truth. Unique- I know. Ultimately I grew up learning about sexual intimacy by great parents and plenty of healthy conversation. Since then, the scriptures and leaders, and research-education have strengthened my growth.

My parents were and are head over heals in love with each other, and there was always a certainty growing up that love was a huge part of their relationship. Even obvious was the intimacy factor. At a young age I remember my parents taking their overnight bags and temple bags as well, and leaving us with a sitter so they could be together, attend the temple and "reconnect". They did this often and would come back happier people. I remember this. I remember thinking..."well that's how it's suppose to be."This history brought simplicity to my life.

Most youth are told "NO! No! No!" when the topic of chastity and morality are discussed. Most parents jaws drop when they hear their little kids ask or say things that are unfamiliar. They get scolded or rebuked because they are curious. I was always told "YES! YES! YES!...When you are married." I always knew that what emotions I had and feelings I carried were healthy and good. They were from the Lord, designed to stir love and wonder. And when I was married- I would be blessed with freedom to love like my parents had also. THIS was my experience. (Unique again...I know). It has been incredibly natural for me to love and learn as much as possible so I can be happy too. And it DOES take learning.

Everyone remembers their childhood experiences. There may have been the awkward "talk", there may have been a book on anatomy, there may have been a hushed and stifled "We don't talk about that"- there may have been nothing. Yet, no matter what the outcome of our earlier years...our Heavenly Father wants to tell us all "YES!" He wants us CLOSE to our spouses. He wants us intimate. It is HIS design and His idea, and there are soooo many reasons for the amazing resource of sexual intimacy in a marriage. Sooo many. For now, I'll leave this question: What are your true and sincere feelings on this topic? No one need answer.

Pray for guidance.
and then ponder some more.

Lives will start to change...I promise.


  1. I'm excited to read more about this topic from you! I'm sure every husband in the planet will be requesting their wives to follow this blog.

  2. My true feelings on this topic? They have evolved over the years (as with most people, I suppose). At this point in my life, I am sad to say that my feelings are those of frustration and depression. After one of my pregnancies, my sex-drive died. It is dead. I have PRAYED and SEARCHED for ways to remedy this situation. My sweet husband has been so patient and understanding, but I know that it is hard for him. I feel terrible for him and for me. I know it's not healthy for our marriage. I am trying my best, but I really don't know what to do. I am glad that you are blogging about this topic. Thanks.

  3. I have gained definite insight into my thoughts and feelings about sex. I know things I have to change and improve, and I know things will just happen. So grateful for your book recommendations. Keep up the "coaching"