I have appreciated the comments and those willing to share in every one's process. It feels like a huge undertaking with this particular topic, and I am sorry if I have offended anyone by discussing it. I know that this subject seems to make some people very uncomfortable. As much as I love it, it certainly takes time to process and to feel in which direction I should go with each post- as every couple has a unique relationship.
There are many different situations that exist and many different reasons for challenges that occur in sexual relations between a husband and a wife. In some cases on this blog I may refer to things or offer insight that you may feel does not apply to you. This is ok, of course. Everyone is in a special place to understand what works best and what does not. There are two factors however, in which some of my comments will not be applicable at all. One is abuse in marriage and the other is sexual dysfunction of one kind or another.
What does that mean? If there is abuse in marriage you may not want to hear that we should be together as often as possible, or even that the Lord is expecting us to do so. Under any conditions of abuse this is not the case. Professional help is indeed a route highly recommended. Speaking directly with a church leader, and a counselor may be the first steps to clarity and there are many people who can be helped to return to a healthy relationship. It is a situation that has a uniqueness that will require outside help and attention, and I would never claim to offer professional advice.
The second factor is sexual dysfunction. These are medical setbacks that also require medical attention which can look like many things. If there are parts of the body that have lost, or maybe never had, sensation or if there are other areas of the body that do not function as intended- among other things-some of my thoughts will need to be reexamined. I am a solid believer in asking questions and seeking help. There are many amazing medical professionals to intervene and to explore options that are available to correct problems that any "practice" and "learning" cannot correct.
The first place to start is to truly understand the human body- male and female. There are a number of books that offer explanations in non offensive ways (ie., The Act of Marriage and/or They were not Ashamed- both christian authors and delicately written with clear information.) As we seek healthy understanding, we need to keep in mind that it is ok to learn. We have each been blessed with beautiful bodies...and it doesn't matter what they look like. All of us have been given parts of the body that have great purpose. To know these purposes are essential. Our bodies are decent and wonderful and the deepest of gifts. Knowing about our bodies can also bring compassion and patience toward our husbands or wives. To understand their bodies and their make-up allows love to surface.
Confusion = frustration.
Knowledge = hope.
I hope that the depth of your relationships are increasing through specific prayer. Here again lies the power for change. I also hope this blog is as reverent as my intent from the start. And lastly, I hope that your world is strengthened as often as it can be by this source for true love. In time we'll explore what the apostle Paul tells us on this topic. It's INCREDIBLY insightful...maybe next time.