April 9, 2009

No more "it"

I have been wondering what would happen if we changed our relationship with sexual intercourse. We hear people talk about this grand connection as "it" quite often. "My husband wants it all the time." "We haven't done it in a while." "It is routine." "It is good." "I feel like it is all he/she thinks about."

If I am able to see, feel, and believe that the spirit of sexual intimacy is apart of my husband and I, than my thoughts toward him- toward us- might be different. Because sex is suppose to be an integral part of who we are as a couple, than changing our thought pattern may change our feelings as well.

Would I feel differently if my thoughts were "My husband wants me all the time"? Would I be less bothered with his desire to connect sexually if I thought "I feel like I am all he thinks about." Maybe we participate in the habit of referring to sex as a stranger or an object. If we do...it very possibly could become just that. Does the experience of intimacy in our marriages feel like an "it"? I have noticed when I am cherished and appreciated by Mr. Napes, when we are truly close and emotionally intimate, that sex really is a part of who I am. It is non existant that he wants the "act" alone, rather, he really does desire ME...his wife and friend. Sharing myself with him then becomes natural and comfortable, and the stranger between us is gone.

Honor- Love- Respect.

Distancing ourselves from the generic and stale term "it" may help our relationship with our spouses. Loosing this term may create a closer level of intimacy. Let us replace "it" as the object, and welcome sex as the design for true wholeness at it's finest because of who we are sharing it with. Let us put our husband or wife in the place of "it". Let's cherish them and desire them and love them- and all that they bring to being one.

I'll start: Mr. Napes, I want you tonight. I want to be with you and share you, and love you.

Hmm. Sounds good to me...


  1. NICE! I love this perspective

  2. I love this concept. Thank you!

  3. We've been trying this for about a week and it has been awesome! Who knew that changing a few words would make such a difference.

  4. Wow. I really feel the need to address this between my husband and I. Maybe It can help put me 'in the mood' better. I never really thought about "it" as an "it". Thank you for pointing that out.